when hope returns: a new chapter

             Do you feel that? That sweep of hope that brushed across your heart. That gentle pulling of newness and adventure that lay just up ahead. The darkness around you is starting to fade....subtly....and the winds of hope are now coming stronger and stronger....so you keep moving forward. You cannot even begin to stop....even when at times you do not feel the gentle whisper of hope. You stop...you bow your knee as a prayer swells up from your pain-filled heart...and there it is again. So you stand again....sometimes with knees that shake and tremble....but the hope that stirs within your spirit cannot be denied. You HAVE to move forward. It is a drawing from within your spirit...urging you on....encouraging you at your weakest, most exhausted moments. And so you keep moving forward. 

         This has been one of the most difficult seasons that I have ever walked. In this season we have walked through mental illness with my daughter, addiction recovery with my husband, rehabs, relapse, financial struggles of epic proportions, hurting hearts, broken dreams, broken spirits, broken hearts...times when I fell to my knees...no...I fell to my face before my Father and cried out with everything in me. Times when the hurt and pain I felt within would not even let me speak...so I groaned...and I cried....and I sat in silence just thinking and thinking. There have been times when I have seen the Holy Spirit provide in ways that left me breathless with wonder. There have been times when I have seen the body of Christ come together and support our family just a God intended....and there have been times when I have had to walk away from friendships because they have not understood why I stood by my daughter or my husband.....I have gained beautiful friends along this season....and I have lost some dear friends as well. That is part of  the journey I guess.....

       But the one thing that I have NOT lost....the one thing that I held tightly to with everything in me...the one thing that I clung to with every breath, every groan, every cry....was hope. Hope would not leave my heart alone. It would not abandon me ever....no...hope was always able to break through the tears, the pain, and the despair and bring a gentle breeze to my spirit. That hope was a beautiful gift...still is. It is everything that I stand on...hope. What is hope? Merriam-Webster defines is as this: to expect with confidence :  trust. I love that! To expect with confidence!! 

      I know my Father. I know His Word. I KNOW that He is always active in every detail of my life. These are things that no one or no circumstance can take away from me. Because I know my Father. It is truly that simple. So even though there may be times when I don't understand or like something that is going on....I can still have hope...to expect with confidence...that God is doing great things. During some of the most painful moments I walked during this time, I would be reminded that I need to sink my heels into what I did know...which was that I was a daughter of the King of Kings, that I was beloved and adored by my heavenly Father, that I was sealed and protected by the blood of Jesus, and that NOTHING could take away my faith...my hope....unless I chose to let it. 

       I have learned in so many ways that I am not to put my hope in the created, but instead ALWAYS in the Creator! God has never, ever, not once, left me. He has walked through every part of this journey with me always drawing me closer to His heart and giving me a deeper desire to learn more and more of His ways.....His heart. The other thing I have learned is that the enemy is very active in the war against us. Sometimes I think we can almost forget that through the craziness of life....but the enemy never forgets his mission. He has one goal that has been clearly defined in Scripture for us: The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy John 10:10. And also in 1 Peter 5:8 Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. It is very, very, very real. And I will not walk ignorantly or blindly anymore. I will walk with the authority of being the King of Kings daughter! I will walk in the confidence of HOPE! I will battle the enemy with the weapons that God gave me to do so....His Word. I have learned how very important it is for me to fight for my marriage....my children....with the Truth of God's Word. And with that knowledge comes even more hope! 

        Just a few months ago, I was certain that my marriage was ending....and that I would have to sit and watch my husband self destruct. I was certain that my heart would rupture within my chest from the pain that I felt as I watched my daughter walk through such darkness. And yet through it all....there was hope. How can this be? How can we possibly walk through such darkness and still feel hope? Because of Jesus. Because Jesus has already conquered death and the grave and fear and it has no authority over my life! Because God has given us through His Scripture many beautiful reminders of our brothers and sisters that have walked the journey before us where there should have been no hope...and there was! When things appeared to be the darkest....God was working. When things appeared to be full of despair....God was bringing gentle hope....He IS hope. ALWAYS. He does not change. 

       So friends....my dear sisters and brothers....even though at this very moment your heart may be so weary. You may be exhausted from crying and crying out. Your spirit may feel a heaviness that makes it difficult to even function....hope will return. Know this. Know that God is speaking hope over your life! Know that God is so active right now in the midst of that most desperate situation that you are in! Take a minute and just stop...right now....and sink your heels into who you know God is. 

      The winds are changing and I feel the first breeze of a new season. I can hold my husbands hand and know that God is doing a great work in both of our lives. I can brush my daughters hair back away from her face and know that she is loved by God far greater than I am capable of understanding. I can see the next bill due and know that God always provides. I can hear the whispers of newness....and I can breathe in the deep breath of freedom in Christ. I can stand on hope. And what a joy it is to raise my hands up in complete surrender, turn my face up to the sun, spin around in complete abandon and praise Him for being Hope! 

Just be still.....

           Being still is very hard for me. I like to go. I get great enjoyment out of movement....the DOING of something...anything....as long as it is doing....so when the Holy Spirit told me to be still....it was and IS hard. I don't do "still" very well...but I am learning that there is great value in the stillness of a body, a heart, a mind. When I am constantly going, my mind is always racing ahead to what is the next thing and many times I miss the current. In Psalms 37:7 it tells me to ," Be still before the Lord and wait for Him to act...." and for this season in my life that is exactly what He is wanting me to do. I am needing to learn how to just," be still". It sounds easy but stop for a minute and think about the last time you were just really still....listening....waiting....on the Lord. Your mind wasn't thinking ahead to the problems and worries of life or your body wasn't sitting in exhaustion or rearing to go. You were just being still. It's HARD to be still in today's world!

      We are not a "still" nation. Everything is go faster, get there quicker, hurry, hurry, hurry! And we are teaching that to our children. I am probably one of the worse....but God has really taken this crazy season in my life to teach me how to be still. We can have so many things on our plates...good, godly things...things that serve people and help others and "look" so good!....but they have us exhausted, burdened, stressed, and full of everything BUT joy. And so for this season, God has spoke very clearly to me about being quiet....still....and return to the simple things in life. These things for me are stuff like driving down a dirt road with the windows rolled down at dusk....dancing in the rain...laughing out loud when my daughters are silly, sitting at a table with my family for supper, playing a board game with family that last late into the night, kneeling at my bed with my tiny daughter and talking to Jesus. I somehow got so busy doing "good" things that I lost who God created me to be. He did not create me to be so busy that I fall into bed each night wondering where the day went and how the to-do list is still so long. He created me with a passion for lightning bugs and writing, for climbing in trees and walking down dirt roads, for hanging clothes on a clothes line and listening to horses play in the pasture....these are things that HE put in my heart that bring me joy. And I lost all of that....because the world...even the church...tells me to be busy. It tells me to do more, serve better, and always be on the go. And that is not the legacy I want to leave behind for my daughters. Serving is a beautiful thing. It is one of my greatest love languages....but God is teaching me that there is so much I still need to learn about just being still. It is the balance of the serving and the stillness that fills our heart with joy! What joy He has for us in sitting up late at night and watching stars! What joy He gives us in the sound of birds singing or in the  seeing the colors of flowers blooming! What beauty there is in watching rain fall from the sky or the morning sun peek over the treetops. I don't want to miss any of these things! I want to take this time He has given me and I want to soak up every single lesson He is teaching me about just being still and waiting on Him to act. I want to teach my daughters how to slow time down by being fully in each moment. I want to watch my husbands eyes as he tells me what God is teaching him and I want to savor the sounds of giggles and loud singing...sigh....I just want to "be still".

       I know I have alot to learn about this, but that's ok. I have the time. I don't have to let the world tell me how busy to be and I don't have to gain value or worth by all my "good deeds"....its ok for me to stop. serve my family. love my God with all my heart, soul, and mind. and...be still. I may not always be in this season of being still....but I am so grateful for it right now. I pray that it becomes a way of life for me. I hear and see so many things that I have missed out on in the past because I was rushing and hurrying to get to the next place I " needed" to serve and help at. So if you are weary, exhausted, and feeling like it is more about surviving then thriving....I understand. I have been there more often than not....and I encourage you to take a minute and breathe deeply. Hold it and count to three....then let it out slowly....and look around you and really SEE what is going on around you. Maybe you just need to grab your husbands hand and tell him you love him. Maybe you need to stop your child and just hold them in your arms for a minute. Maybe you need to cancel the days' activities and instead just "be" with each other. Don't be afraid of being still. It isn't as bad as you think....in fact...it is something that your heart is craving.

Worthy verses GREAT worth: the mountain and the hill dilemma

       

               I have this strange thing that I have struggled with most of my life...it is the feeling of being worthy verses the feeling of having GREAT worth....and I have realized that I am not alone in feeling this way. You see I know that God sees worth in me...I mean, He MUST. He sent His only son to die for me and He pursues an intimate relationship with me every moment of every day so He must see something of value in my life...something that WITH HIM, and THROUGH HIM is worthy of pursuing....and I get that. But then there is another side that I don't get it. The GREAT worth part. Now some of you people may not see the difference....but I know I'm not the only one who struggles with great worth. It is the struggle of wondering if you are of great worth...and why.
       For me it is like the difference between a hill and a mountain. When one climbs a hill, they may think," wow, that was pretty cool. I sure am glad I climbed that hill"...but when one climbs a mountain, one would think," WOW!!! This is AMAZING! This could be the most beautiful moment in my life...I mean just LOOK at the view!"....both have worth, but one seems to be of GREAT WORTH. I tend to look around me and feel like everyone around me is changing the world in far greater ways than I...and it leaves me feeling of less worth, which leads me to feeling pretty insecure about myself. I can look around and say," wow....look at Billy Graham,  Karen Kingsbury, or Beth Moore, or...the list can go on for quite awhile....and in their lives I see GREAT WORTH. They are reaching so many people and changing this world and so then I compare them to my life...and I am changing sheets on the bed and reaching for more dishes to wash. It just seems like they have more value in the Kingdom of Heaven than I would....and so I have struggled with this over and over and over, year after year after year and I am just now realizing that the problem isn't them or me. It is my PERCEPTION of great worth.

         When a mom comes up to me, tired and exhausted, I will be the first one to tell her of her value! I will hug on her and pray with her and probably make up some really cute little basket to give her later in the week just to remind her of her value....because that is what I believe...for her. But when it comes to myself....man....I am harsh and relentless. I will shrink from talking in front of someone because who am I? I will be embarrassed when someone says something nice about me because I think," If only they knew my house was a disaster, they wouldn't be saying this about me!" See what I mean...it is my PERCEPTION that is off. My perception of WHO I AM.
     So lately God has been relentless in speaking to my heart about this. He desires for me to change my view on this and He has made that VERY clear and so I want to change. I want to start seeing myself for who I am IN HIM. I want us, as women, to not be afraid to be ourselves in all our messy, dirty, hoarding, rushed, organized, crafting, crazy beauty that we are! I want to see myself as He see's me...so how does He see me?

          God tells me that He see's me as fearfully and wonderfully made....from birth...at the beginning of my life...in the womb. Psalm 139:14
           God tells me that I am complete in Him Who is the Head of all principality and power (Colossians 2:10
I am also told that I am alive with Christ (Ephesians 2:5

I am free from the law of sin and death (Romans 8:2).

I am far from oppression, and fear does not come near me (Isaiah 54:14).

I am born of God, and the evil one does not touch me (1 John 5:18).

I am holy and without blame before Him in love (Ephesians 1:4; 1 Peter 1:16).

I have the mind of Christ (1 Corinthians 2:16; Philippians 2:5).

I have the peace of God that passes all understanding (Philippians 4:7).

I have the Greater One living in me; greater is He Who is in me than he who is in the world (1 John 4:4).

I have received the gift of righteousness and reign as a king in life by Jesus Christ (Romans 5:17).

I have received the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Jesus, the eyes of my understanding being enlightened (Ephesians 1:17-18).

I have received the power of the Holy Spirit to lay hands on the sick and see them recover, to cast out demons, to speak with new tongues.  I have power over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall by any means harm me (Mark 16:17-18; Luke 10:17-19).

I have put off the old man and have put on the new man, which is renewed in the knowledge after the image of Him Who created me (Colossians 3:9-10).

I have given, and it is given to me; good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over, men give into my bosom (Luke 6:38).

I have no lack for my God supplies all of my need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:19).

I can quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one with my shield of faith (Ephesians 6:16).

I can do all things through Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:13).

I show forth the praises of God Who has called me out of darkness into His marvelous light (1 Peter 2:9).

I am God’s child for I am born again of the incorruptible seed of the Word of God, which lives and abides forever (1 Peter 1:23).

I am God’s workmanship, created in Christ unto good works (Ephesians 2:10).

I am a new creature in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17).

I am a spirit being alive to God (Romans 6:11;1 Thessalonians 5:23).

I am a believer, and the light of the Gospel shines in my mind (2 Corinthians 4:4).

I am a doer of the Word and blessed in my actions (James 1:22,25).

I am a joint-heir with Christ (Romans 8:17).

I am more than a conqueror through Him Who loves me (Romans 8:37).

I am an overcomer by the blood of the Lamb and the word of my testimony (Revelation 12:11).

I am a partaker of His divine nature (2 Peter 1:3-4).

I am an ambassador for Christ (2 Corinthians 5:20).

I am part of a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a purchased people (1 Peter 2:9).

I am the righteousness of God in Jesus Christ (2 Corinthians 5:21).

I am the temple of the Holy Spirit; I am not my own (1 Corinthians 6:19).

I am the head and not the tail; I am above only and not beneath (Deuteronomy 28:13).

I am the light of the world (Matthew 5:14).

I am His elect, full of mercy, kindness, humility, and longsuffering (Romans 8:33; Colossians 3:12).

I am forgiven of all my sins and washed in the Blood (Ephesians 1:7).

I am delivered from the power of darkness and translated into God’s kingdom (Colossians 1:13).

I am redeemed from the curse of sin, sickness, and poverty (Deuteronomy 28:15-68; Galatians 3:13).

I am firmly rooted, built up, established in my faith and overflowing with gratitude (Colossians 2:7).

I am called of God to be the voice of His praise (Psalm 66:8; 2 Timothy 1:9).

I am healed by the stripes of Jesus (Isaiah 53:5; 1 Peter 2:24).

I am raised up with Christ and seated in heavenly places (Ephesians 2:6; Colossians 2:12).

I am greatly loved by God (Romans 1:7; Ephesians 2:4; Colossians 3:12; 1 Thessalonians 1:4).

I am strengthened with all might according to His glorious power (Colossians 1:11).

I am submitted to God, and the devil flees from me because I resist him in the Name of Jesus (James 4:7).

I press on toward the goal to win the prize to which God in Christ Jesus is calling us upward (Philippians 3:14).

For God has not given us a spirit of fear; but of power, love, and a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7).

It is not I who live, but Christ lives in me Galatians 2:20

            

              Now these are just a FEW of the things that God tells me....so now I have to decide if I believe Him. Do I believe that what God says is true and never false. If I do...then I have to own these things. I have to see that when God created the hill....He did it with just as much passion and love as He had when He created the mountain. 

          I am trying to teach my daughters to own in every way the fact that they are royalty...heirs to a great and mighty Kingdom that one day soon will be here. I want them to know this in their core....they BELONG. They are valued and treasured and of GREAT WORTH....and I will never be able to fully teach that to them when they see me constantly doubt myself and who I am. I am teaching them to do the same thing I do...compare and always come up lacking. So I want them to see me as a seeker...someone who is seeking truth always. Not perfect. But a seeker.

 Listen my friends, We ARE NOT a perfect people yet. We will struggle with laundry and dishes and dirty houses, rushed schedules and exhaustion that leads us to buy fast food instead of cook a good meal until Jesus comes to take us home. But what we DON"T have to struggle with is who we are IN Christ....because He lays it out for us over and over. We just need to believe Him. Why is it so easy to believe that He will rescue us from certain eternal death by salvation, but so hard to believe that we are beautiful?!? He tells us BOTH in His Word. He speaks of our beauty in 2 Corinthians 4:16 ESV   So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day.

And again in Song of Solomon 4:7 ESV     You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you. 

1 Peter 3:3-4 ESV     Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. 

If we could change our perception...we would change the world. Because what I don't see when I am washing the dishes or folding laundry or staring into the abyss of a messy house, or crying in my closet because I just can't handle one more question from the girls....is God looking into my heart. He is not sitting there staring at my sink full of dishes and "tsk tsking" me....no. He is looking upon my heart and He see's His daughter whom He loves and adores and I bring Him GREAT JOY. We bring Him GREAT JOY in the midst of our messy homes, chaotic schedules, and attempts to be healthy:) We bring Him GREAT JOY because we are of GREAT WORTH. We are HIS DAUGHTERS. We will one day be clothed in complete royalty. We will be wearing a crown on our head fitting ONLY for a daughter of a KING! And we didn't earn that crown because we had a spotless house or messy one...we didn't earn that crown because of anything we did....His love is what put that crown on our heads. 

     Another thing I am coming to see is that my worth does not come from my marriage being perfect or my children always being obedient with never an ugly word or look, or from spending hours and hours volunteering at church or camp or anything. It comes from CHRIST. The end. That's it. It comes from CHRIST. I don't earn it. I don't "find" it. It is already there. The moment I became His daughter I was of GREAT WORTH. 

        He DELIGHTS in us. Now I delight in my daughters...I laugh and my heart is filled with joy when I see them having fun, I think of them constantly and wonder how their day is going, I sit back sometimes and just watch them and listen....because I "delight" in them....How much more does the Father delight in us?!?! He created us with His very breath, made us in His image and then pursued us in a continual love story. It doesn't matter whether I am the hill or the mountain. The one who tries to convince me that the mountain is worth more than the hill....is the enemy. And yet again, because of God's goodness to us, He already tells us this up front! He warns us in His Word that the enemy will try to confuse us and make us feel unworthy. The enemy will want to destroy us and put oppression on our hearts and because God is a Father who DELIGHTS in His children, He gives us weapons and tools and He teaches us how to use them to fight the enemy so that we can stand strong, brave and WORTHY....because we KNOW who we belong to and who we are in Christ. Just think how the enemy would howl if all of the daughters of the King realized their GREAT WORTH and walked in it! 

     Dear sister....my tired, exhausted, weary sister....You ARE of GREAT WORTH. Right now. Just as you are. You are a DELIGHT to your Father in Heaven. I'm sorry your heart is tired and I'm sorry the battle seems so long on days....but you are not alone. You are NOT a disappointment. You are NOT a failure.You are NOT ugly.  You are beautiful. You are treasured. You bring a smile to the King of Kings face and a sigh of happiness from His lips. You bring joy to His eyes as He watches you throughout the day. He SINGS over you because you DELIGHT Him! So let's just try to encourage each other in believing what God says about us. Let's lay our weary hearts down and quit trying to "find" our great worth....because we already have it. We just need to own it. 

When we get use to the stench...

                                                        
               My nature is very shy. I can be very timid and have a difficult time saying or doing anything that I think could "hurt" someone's feelings. I have struggled with this my whole life. I have prayed for boldness and courage but every day I still struggle with the timidness that tries to take over. I want my words to be full of grace and gentleness and to reflect the love of Christ in all that I do and say. This is something that I pursue with great passion...the fruits of the spirit. I am a peacemaker by spirit....it is who God created me to be.
     However, I am learning that doesn't mean that I don't take a stand. It doesn't mean that I don't speak up. In fact....I am learning that being a peacemaker means that I DO speak up! Bringing peace means speaking truth....because only then can there be true peace. That may mean that I have to say some things that may ruffle a few feathers...and I am learning to be ok with that.
      So you may just want to click off this blog right now...you don't have to read it. You get to choose what you do with this blog...turn it off, or read on....
       So here goes....I watch this show called," Hoarders"....it completely fascinates me for many reasons but mainly because I love the human brain. I am fascinated with how it works and what makes us think the way we do. SO on this particular episode, I was watching a woman who had a hoarding problem with cats. It didn't matter if they were alive or dead...she kept them in her home....and in her ice box. As I am watching the video camera sweep the interior of her home, it shows us the condition of her living space. It is completely covered in cat urine and feces. She walks over it barefoot...oblivious of what she is walking on. It covers every inch of her home....she eats at a table that is covered in cat feces, from food that is stored in her ice box that is stuffed with dead cats...she sleeps on a mattress that is covered in dead cats and cat deposits. When the people who came to help her went into her home, they began to gag and many of them had to go back outside because the stench was unbearable. The counselor who was there to help her asked her if she smelled how bad it was to which she replied that she did not. You see, she had been in that home, in that condition for so long now that the smell was normal. Walking across cat feces or sitting next to a dead cat was completely normal to her because she did it every day....and it made me think about us as believers.
    See, I have read many times the Scriptures that talk about our lives as a sweet aroma to God...2 Corinth 2:15 and Eph. 5:2 and so we know that there is an actual spiritual smell that comes from us walking with God and it is pleasing to Him...but is there a "smell" of the world?  As I watched this show of Hoarders, I thought about how many things have become," normal" for us spiritually speaking...and the aroma it is sending to our Heavenly Father. I believe that we are walking around with the stench of the world on us and we don't even know it. Because it is "normal". 

         We have all heard about the "slow fade" and it is very real. We have allowed more and more things of the world into our lives...whether it be movies, music, conversations, thoughts, how we dress, or actions.....and by allowing them we have begun the slow fade. We have become much like the hoarder. She didn't just wake up one day and decide to fill her house with dead cats. It was one moment after another moment...one choice and then another...that lead her to believe that living with the stench of dead cats was normal. Is this not how we are?! Now I am NOT saying that books, movies, ect....are evil or bad or any such thing. I AM saying that we are called to be IN this world but not OF it. I am saying that we are suppose to be set apart. I am saying that we are should be different from those around us. 
          Let me give you an example in my own life....I love a good love story. The sappy make you cry the nasty cry kind of love story. The one that gets right in your heart and you hate it when it is over kind of love story. And so I have watched many, many love story movies and one of my all-time favorites is." The Notebook."....sigh.....I mean it is seriously beautiful....but recently I have been praying and asking God to show me any areas in my life that I have allowed to "fade" and God quickly led me straight to my deep desire for love stories. In that very favorite movie of mine," The Notebook", they have a rather steamy scene in it and they are not married. Because it is written in to the beautiful story line of this beautiful movie, I have always "overlooked" that part. I mean I know it is wrong to have premarital sex and all so I can just watch the movie and "ignore" that part. God showed me how it grieved His heart...and it broke mine. Because I wanted to watch this movie and because it was just that "one little" part...I had compromised. I mean I have spent alot of my life speaking out against premarital sex. It is something that I am fiercely passionate about....but I had compromised because premarital sex in a good love story is "normal"....see my point? God doesn't change His views on premarital sex because it is written into a beautiful love story. He doesn't lower His holiness so that we can watch "just that one"....this was ( and still is) hard for me. Maybe...just maybe...the stench had become" normal" to me....

        When God brought this to my heart, I began to see how easy it is to "fade". I don't ever want to make light of something that Christ had to die for. I don't ever want to justify something I want to do or read or watch or wear or whatever....when Christ gave up His life to set us free from those things. It's hard for me to put into words but this isn't about a bunch of "rules" I have to keep or obey....not at all! This is about the greatest, most sacrifical love story of all time! This is about LOVE! This is about us loving our King above EVERYTHING else. This is about us learning of His great love pursuit of us that it leaves us breathless and in awe of WHO HE IS. This isn't about grace allowing us to do whatever we want ( Romans 6:15), this is about us thinking on things above and walking in ways that draw us closer to the heart of the Father. This is about a covenant between the CREATOR OF THE UNIVERSE and us.... the created walking around with the breath of God in our lungs. 
      I am discovering more and more that many of us spend very little actual time in God's Word on our own. According to the American Bible Society in 2013  only 26 % of Americans who consider themselves believers of Christ read their Bible on a regular basis ( four or more times a week) while 57% said they read their Bibles four times a year OR LESS! No wonder it is so easy for us to fade!We will claim the Bible is full of wisdom that can help us but we are unwilling to sacrifice our time from our movies, books, friends, lives....to find out what that wisdom is. We just keep getting more and more use to the stench and it becomes more and more "normal" for us to live in it and for it to be a part of us. And just like that woman had gotten so use to how she was living that she didn't notice it anymore, so we live. We have gotten use to the stench of the world and it is now our "normal."
  I don't want the world's stench to be normal to me. I don't want to be afraid to stand up for the ONE who DIED for me. And quite honestly, when all we teach is God's character of grace and love, we are only teaching PART of His character. He is a jealous God. ( Deut. 4:24) He is HOLY. ( Rev. 4:8) And He loves us with a deep love. ( John 3:16) 
    I am not talking to those who do not believe in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ....I am talking to those who do. I am talking to my brothers and sisters in Christ who are losing their spiritual eyesight to see the war. I am talking to the warriors who have put down their weapons to pick up the enemies toys to play during the war.  I feel so passionate about this because I have many non-believers who ask me over and over why they would need to ask Jesus in their hearts when everyone around them lives just like them....and they are talking about in the church. They don't see the need for Jesus because nothing is different and so they don't get the point....and it breaks my heart. We are living in times that have crisis levels of suicide, divorce, depression, and addictions....people are desperate for truth. They are groaning within because they want to find the light when the darkness and fear is closing in all around them....and my heart breaks because they see no difference in their lives and the lives of those who call themselves "believers" and so they find no hope...this has to change.

       We have to be set apart. We have to be different. This is something we are CALLED to do by God Himself. ( 2 Timothy 2:21-22)  I recently read an article that made such a good point for me....it was this:   The prophet Jeremiah spoke to the people of Judea, preaching about what would be necessary if they wanted to remain "blessable" by God.  When King Josiah died, the culture darkened and Jeremiah warned the people that God would discipline.  I believe his words to the people of Judea are the same words a prophet would speak to our American culture.  Jeremiah said:"From the least to the greatest, all are greedy for gain; prophets and priests alike, all practice deceit. They dress the wound of my people as though it were not serious.  'Peace, peace,' they say, when there is no peace.  Are they ashamed of their detestable conduct?  No, they have no shame at all; they do not even know how to blush.  So they will fall among the fallen; they will be brought down when I punish them," says the Lord.  This is what the Lord says: "Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls.  But you said, 'We will not walk in it" (Jeremiah 6:13-16).
     So here we stand...at the crossroads....are we willing to walk in the ancient paths and ask where the good way is and walk in it? That may mean that we have to give up a book we love, a movie we adore, a way we dress, or a conversation we like....but isn't He WORTHY? You were so worthy to Him that He gave up ALL of His kingdom to come to earth and live as a man. He showed us how to walk IN the world but not OF it...step by step...and He gave us these beautiful God-breathed words called the Bible to continue our training...all we have to do is walk in it....and realize the stench of the world is not pleasing to Him. Be different. Be brave. Be courageous. 

           This was not an easy thing for me to write....over and over I would erase and re-write it because I do not want my words to ever judge or condemn....I struggle more than anyone knows with these very things I wrote about. I pray that if you did hang in there and read all of these words, that the Holy Spirit will help them fall on your heart the way that He desires for them to. I write this in being obedient and that isn't always easy...and I will admit my heart thrummed in fear when I thought about posting it because I know all to well the harsh judgement of people ....but I am also continually learning to just trust and obey.... so I will leave you with this verse as it sums up how I feel: 2 Corinthians 10:1-5 " 10 Christ is humble and free of pride. Because of this, I make my appeal to you. I, Paul, am the one you call “shy” when I am face to face with you. But when I am away from you, you think I am “bold” toward you. 2 I am coming to see you. Please don’t make me be as bold as I expect to be toward some people. They think that I live the way the people of this world live. 3 I do live in the world. But I don’t fight my battles the way the people of the world do. 4 The weapons I fight with are not the weapons the world uses. In fact, it is just the opposite. My weapons have the power of God to destroy the camps of the enemy. 5 I destroy every claim and every reason that keeps people from knowing God. I keep every thought under control in order to make it obey Christ.