Saturday, December 19, 2015

Learning the hard lessons:


         I am sitting here trying to figure out how to put into words what I am feeling....and I am really struggling. I can't hardly see due to the tears that keep falling down my face.....you see....here we are at Christmas. Again. Another year gone and another year to celebrate the birth of our King. But I am seriously struggling with how my children feel about giving.
          Am I teaching them that giving is TRULY more important than getting? Would they be willing to walk away from a gift for them, to give someone else a gift? I don't know.....it seems in our society more and more children are walking around entitled. They have a sense of "deserving" this or that, when they have done nothing to deserve it. They want to fit in with everyone around them which means they want the newest phone, the newest electronic, the coolest name brand clothes or the most recent music that everyone is listening to....and it breaks my heart. I am watching a generation grow up without having a clue as to what it truly means to give....to the sacrifice. Oh sure they will give some change in the red cross bucket or buy a friend a gift....but it isn't really costing them anything....it isn't sacrificing.They aren't going without so that someone else can have. They aren't having to sacrifice as long they still get....
        Sacrificial love isn't about giving because you have enough to share....it is about giving your all. It is about going without so that someone else can have what is yours. It is about sharing when there ISN'T enough to share....sacrificing. It is about the beautiful elderly woman in Mark 12:42 who gave her last penny...her all.  I want my children to know what it means to sacrifice....to give up...to go without. That is the kind of giving I want my children to know....they are very good at sharing....as long as it doesn't really cost them. They love to buy the coffee for the person in line behind us....as long as they still get theirs. They love to pay for the gas of the person beside us....as long as they can still go where they need to. But would they be willing to share if it truly cost them....after this week, I realize that we still have training to do....
       Do my children even know what sacrifice means? And how very important it is that we understand and practice this? We live in such a "get" world....every day it is about what we can get, how fast we can get it, and who is stopping us from getting it....it shows in how we treat cars that cut us off, in how we treat the people in a long line at the store, in how we treat our spouse and our children when things aren't done on our time table....and our children absorb and soak in all of it. They watch....and learn...and duplicate.

       Then we have the issue of comparing....our friends have a phone, mp3 player, gaming system, ect.....so we too need those things. Our friends are allowed to watch that movie, listen to that song, date that person....so we should be allowed to as well. And for me....in the last few years....I allowed a subtle shift of priorities. I stopped training as much as I started giving in....it was just easier and I was weary.
       The last few years have been rough to say the least and in trying to stand strong, stay focused, stay true to my faith....and in just being weary from the battle....I got tired. My husband wasn't on the same page as me and my family was falling apart and I was desperately trying to hold all the pieces together and now I see that I let some of my belief system be changed because of my exhaustion and weariness....and isn't that where satan wants us to be at? Weary? Tired? Overwhelmed? Letting our guard down so that he can sneak in and deceive.
       So now it is time to refocus....once the Holy Spirit brings something to our attention, we have the choice, just like every child, to choose to obey or continue on in our ways. I choose to turn around. I choose to acknowledge that I still have alot of room for improvement as a parent and I choose to listen to the wisdom of the Holy Spirit. I choose to fight for my family. I choose to not give up because it is easier to give in than to train.
            So I challenge you to take an honest look at your family. Be willing to hold up the mirror of God's Word and see what your family can change to walk in a more intimate way with Jesus. Don't be afraid to see what the weaknesses are in your family....we are not expected to be a perfect family...but are we growing? Do we pursue and search the heart of Christ as a family? Do we have those conversations with our children that challenge them in their faith and make them seek out their own hearts of who they serve...and why. Are we teaching our children that the Holy Spirit is a great teacher and that when He shows us these things, it is because He loves us. He longs for us to be ever closer....ever pursuing...ever seeking. His love for us is beyond what we can ever fathom with our physical brain and that by giving our all in all areas, we are getting more than we can comprehend? 
        This week has been a great lesson for me....and one I am learning from. We are not a perfect family. We have our struggles and our weaknesses. But it is BECAUSE of those weaknesses that Christ is glorified through us as we continue to  learn as a family how to fall deeper in love with our King. I am proud of my daughters for desiring to learn more about the heart of Jesus....even when the lesson is a hard one. I am grateful that Jesus never gives up on us....and that He lovingly teaches us lessons that are vital for us to learn. So I pray the lessons continue....I pray we continue to learn of our weak areas as a family and that we are not afraid to talk about the things we struggle with as we push on together in learning how to be more Christlike....in every area..... and that this year we give our all. In all areas. In all ways.


   

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