A long time ago, I decided that I would not let fear define me. I would fully face head on whatever it was I was afraid of...and until recently that has worked really well for me. I have learned to face things even if it means I face it with trembling knees. I have been talking to a lot of people lately and I keep hearing the word " afraid"; Afraid to make a mistake, Afraid someone is going to hurt you, Afraid your doing it all wrong, Afraid your going to miss something big, Afraid someone will find out....Afraid....and it has got me to think about how I still live in fear sometimes. I have let fear in my life way too much lately! I fear things like how I am parenting. Parenting is HARD and many times we are in waters of unknown terriortiy. Many, MANY times we go to bed wondering if we handled that situation right, or gave the best answer to that question, or just totally sent our child into a pit of despair, doomed to become some terrible criminal all because of how we parented them.Or how about our marriages....sigh....marriage requires HARD, HARD work on a daily basis and many times I have caught myself wondering if only I would do this or that better, than maybe my marriage would be better and that creates fear in me because " what if" I don't do it right...will my spouse leave or start looking for something/someone else? We fear we are not good enough or smart enough or brave enough or bold enough or....the list can go on and on....
For some people, fear is not that big a deal. They are confident and sure of themeselves and they make a decision and walk boldly in that decision. I look up to those people. I admire them...but I am not one of them.
So how do we make a stand against fear? As I have searched God's Word on this, I have come up with some pretty simple truths. Fear is rooted in lies. We must first believe the lie, then comes the fear....but we don't HAVE to fear. anything. We can make a stand to believe ONLY TRUTH and in truth, there is NO fear. Only Freedom.
So why do I still fear? Why do I constantly worry about doing the wrong thing...or screwing up the lives of those around me? Why are there days when fear sweeps over me and leaves me gasping in its wake...crying out to God to protect me and those I love! Why does fear creep in even when I battle it?
Fear creeps in.....because I let it. It is that simple. I take my eyes off of my King and I set them on the " things" going on around me and I give fear the right to be there....even if just for a moment. I read over and over again the story of Peter walking on the water...He was fixed on Jesus....and Peter asked Jesus to call him from the boat. Peter KNEW deep in his heart that Jesus always wanted his good. He trusted the King. He took those steps out of the boat and felt the water under his feet. He feet the swishing and the rolling of the waves UNDER him. He felt strong and completely sure of himself because the KING had called him to take these steps....and then....in just such a brief moment....his eyes caught the sight of the waves. His breath must have caught in his throat as he realized what he was doing! He couldn't be walking on the water! It was impossible!! Where moments before there was complete trust, fear now filled his being and he cried out," Lord! Save me!"......oh how I have been this person!!
God calls me to walk out of the boat....He calls me to live a life that is different than others and everyone around me says," It is impossible!"....God calls me to stay married to someone who has broken our covenant. He calls me to stay committed to my daughter even though she continues to rage against our family. He calls me to stand in front of others and share my story even though He knows I am most comfortable INSIDE the boat. I want to see the boat under me....around me. I want to know I am safe and to take those steps out of this "boat" requires me to be in the middle of the sea with only water under me....knowing that I CANNOT walk on water... I WILL sink....and yet the King beckons...."Come....come to me. Come outside of the boat."
I am trying to walk this life completely outside the boat. I try not to look around me or under me....but keep my eyes fixed on my King. Many times I have caught myself taking my eyes off and I start going under with the worry and stress of life and I cry out with all that is in me," Lord! Save me!"....and He does. His promises are so real my friends. They are not words written down for a rainy day....they are LIFE. They are sanity. They are strength. His words are a foundation under the water that I am walking on. I am coming to see that if I were to go back in the boat now, I would be stepping back into a boat of fear. The boat has become a "safe" place for me live out my faith....I can stay fearful but still praise on Sunday or during my Bible Study each week....as long as I have my comfortable, safe, boat of fear. See, all this time I thought the boat was the safe place and out there....on the water...that was the place of fear....but I was deceived.
For me to walk in faith....I HAVE to get out of the boat and I HAVE to walk into the unknown in complete trust of my Father's heart. I have to take each day....each step....knowing that He is the One who CREATED the water. He speaks and it listens. Water cannot overwhelm me....fear can. Each situation that may "seem" to be overwhelming is a beautiful moment we are given to reflect the power of God's love in our life. The power of His forgiveness and His grace and His mercy and His HEART towards His beloved children. Each thing that the enemy tries to convince us is "to much"...is exactly what we need to shine the power of the Holy Spirit in our lives! There is NOTHING that is impossible with God! NOTHING!!!! And I have seen that with my own eyes over and over again....
Finances, addictions, behavior issues, mental illness, exhaustion, medical problems, broken covenants, broken hearts....I have seen and felt the power of walking on the water through each of these moments and it is because HE CALLED ME FROM THE BOAT that I was able to experience His power in each of them. If I stayed in the boat.,...cowering in fear....I can barely think of it! How much I would have missed!
I know life can "seem" scary...believe me....I know. But DO NOT let fear rule you. You are a beloved child of the Most High King! You have a heritage RICH with faith and strength. If we can start looking at each difficult thing as an amazing moment for our Lord to shine and reveal Himself to those around us watching....it is life changing. I remind myself every day that what the enemy intended for destruction, God now owns for beauty! Let us stand. Let us cast fear into the depths of the ocean....and let us clothe ourselves in Christ. Keeping our eyes....fixed....on HIS truths. And let none of us be able to stay in the boat....I pray that each of us take that first step out...with trembling hands, and heaving chests....and feel the beauty of the water under us as we look into the eyes of our beloved King!
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