It seems to me....

      To be real. To be completely, honestly and brutally real. That is hard. That is not something that we do with each other very often, if ever. We like to hide behind our mask and our facades....we feel safe there. But to peel off every layer and lay our heart out for all....that is hard. Because people judge. People condemn. People are harsh.....and so we protect ourselves and walk around in a world full of people feeling alone and overwhelmed. We desperately seek help from our prescriptions and our self-help books or t.v. shows all the while truly struggling with feeling less and less as a wife, a mother, a daughter.....a human.
      And you know what.....I am just so sick of it. I am so sick and sad from hearing about and watching all the people who tried so hard to hold it together and finally gave up and either they commit suicide, kill someone else, or desperately try to drown themselves in alcohol, drugs, or sadness. Why can we not take off the mask? Why is it so very hard for us to reveal our true selves to each other? Why do we not feel the freedom to talk about our struggles and why do we not act as a community....a family....that supports each other and builds up instead of being so quick to tear down?
     We have gotten it in our heads somewhere that it is ok for us to point out the sins of all those around us...all in the name of the Lord of course......and for us to condemn and cast judgement on those who live a lifestyle that is not what we believe in. We don't realize that we have become the pharisee. We can't see that we are the ones holding stones and yelling as we shake our fingers in the broken ones face. That person that you rant on and on about....the one that you gossip about with everyone as you "pray" for them....or the one that openly lives a life that does not line up to Scripture....that person....Jesus DIED for them. Jesus gave up all of Heaven for 33 years so that the person that you just KNOW is in deep sin, could be set free.

        It seems to me that we as the family of Christ have completely forgotten the amazing and extraordinary grace that we ourselves receive daily. It seems to me that we should close those pointed fingers and instead bend our knee. It seems to me that if we truly wanted to live out the example that Christ left for us, we would befriend the ones who are hurting, alone, desperate, addicted, forgotten, broken......and we would teach them THROUGH LOVE that God pursues them with great purpose and that He has big plans for their lives and that they were created for joy and that Jesus adores them! Why are we so quick to hit hard and ruthless with all the Scriptures that talk about judgement.....but we ignore the ones on love conquering all, forgiveness over and over, grace beyond what we deserve, coming to heal the sick, and on and on.....?
            I just know this.....for me.....I want to be real with people. I struggle. I hurt. I cry like crazy at times. I mess up and have to ask for forgiveness.....daily. I am not perfect. I do not want to be associated with the word in anyway other than through the blood of Christ one day I will be perfect before Him in Heaven! I want to love those who ache within them because I have....am....one of them. I want to be brave and take a deep breath and show people the things I struggle with. I want to be able to show them that without the power of the Holy Spirit in my life, I am nothing but a scared, broken little girl. I want to show them that there is NOTHING....and I mean....absolutely NOTHING.....that is not redeemable. NOTHING. You can argue with me on that all you want....but I know my God is capable and willing for EVERYONE to come to know Him. I know that He desires for not ONE person to perish and I know that it is only HIS job to determine when someone is to far gone....not me. Never me. I am to love. I am to live out each of the fruits of the spirit daily....which are....love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Please tell me which of those fruits produce judgment, criticism, condemnation, or self-righteousness?
        I want my life to be about following the example that Christ set. I want to study His words and His ways and then reflect them. I want people to be drawn to me because of the Holy Spirit that lives within me. I want to be real.