That long ago night was leading up to this night....these thoughts. That long ago night when Mary...so young....was riding on that donkey feeling the pains of labor. Her thoughts must have been jumping from one thing to the next...questions about how and why...fears of what if....joy from deep within remembering the angel's visit. I wonder how her heart must have been hammering...and then Joseph....walking for miles and with each step another question...another thought. What would this be like? How can he help Mary? Would love fill his heart for this child? Would his family accept this child as his son?
And then there was Heaven...preparing....the Three gathered together. Talking. And the angels...preparing for the announcement to the shepherds. Preparing for their King to become man...preparing for the Creator to become the created. The King Jesus....the ruler of Heaven...preparing to become an infant....what was that like? Where there a hush in Heaven? Or was there a great hustle and bustle with great anticipation of the coming night! And what were the citizens of Heaven doing? Gathered around the throne, with all their breathes held tightly, as they listened to the Three explain what was about to happen...I imagine joy feeling their hearts as they realized that THIS was the moment that they had read about...wondered about...and longed for. It was happening and they were getting a front row seat to it all! Abraham and Sarah, Adam and Eve, Isaac, Boaz, Rahab, David....the lineage of Christ...watching from above. I can only imagine all the conversations that must having been going on in Heaven that night!
Then....He is here. Gone from all the glory of Heaven to settle into life....here...as a child. It still blows my mind when I try to understand it! The Christ becoming flesh....the pursuit of us. All thirty-three of those years spent in this great love story...resulting in the Holy Spirit being given to us as a forever continuing love song for our hearts. A rock to stand on. A light to guide....and all that from the first moment of," Let us make man..." It is such a humbling, beautiful thought. How great His love is for us!
Tonight is Christmas Eve, and I cannot help but think of that night. Tonight, Jesus knows where you are. He sees right into your heart and knows the pain there, the sadness, the tears that flow when no one is looking...and He aches for you. Christmas is not always about laughter and joy...sometimes it comes with a longing deep within...an ache for the loss of someone that seems so far away at this moment. Sometimes it comes with a sadness or depression when you don't even know why...and sometimes it comes with feelings of rejection and disapproval...and the Christ child....He knew. He knew we would struggle with these things and He knew how our hearts would ache with tears and fears. He knew...and He pursued. He loves. He does not need or want you to be anyone other than who you are right now at this moment. He doesn't need the perfect Christmas card. He doesn't need the perfect house or gift...He IS the gift. All He needs is a heart that is open to Him. A heart that stops...listens...and believes.
I imagine as all of Heaven looks down and watches each of us celebrating...and they remember that moment....that moment when King Jesus said goodbye to Heaven and embraced the confines of the womb....I imagine that moment when King Jesus took His first breath as a baby....all for you. For me. For His beloved children. He doesn't need us to run around yelling at the traffic or quickly throwing money in the salvation army pot...He wants us to slow down. To stop and just be grateful....for Him.
Are we grateful for everything He has done? Are we grateful for each life gift He gives us every single day? I want to be grateful! Not just for all the good...but for ALL. I want to see that each trial has been a gift. It has drawn me close to His heart....where He has held me. Each tear that has fallen from my broken heart, He has been there to catch. Not one single one of those tears has fallen unnoticed....not one. He doesn't need us to be fake...He just wants us to be real. So if your hurting....tell Him. If you are sad...it's ok. If you ache deep in your soul....He is there. You are not alone.
He gave up all of Heaven for one reason...you. He left His kingdom for one purpose...you. He was beaten, tortured cruelly, cursed and spit upon for one goal....you. You are His everything. You are His love. Is He yours? I pray this Christmas, that each of us will make the time to really look into our hearts and see if we live out each day with one purpose in mind...Jesus. I pray that we will praise Him for ALL that He has and is doing. I pray that we will know that the Christmas story isn't over yet....we are still preparing for the next chapter...Heaven. It is coming...this new Kingdom...with no fear and no pain...and Jesus.
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