God has given me six beautiful daughters. I always prayed for boys growing up because I was such a tom boy that I never wanted girls...and God gave me six daughters. Because He is just funny like that. I cherish each one of them. Each of them are a gift to me. Each of them have been given great gifts that God is developing into making them powerful warriors. I see the leadership in Gracie, I see great compassion in Mercy, I see Chyanne's love of giving to people, I see Searra's great spiritual insight, and Whitney's tenderness toward the orphans, and Kari's desire to not give up.
I have been given a husband who is seeking more than ever. He is knocking, seeking, asking, searching for truth in God's Word and desiring to be a man after God's Heart. He loves his daughters and wants to be a better dad for them. He is braver than most men I know and willing to totally put himself out there to truly conquer this and move forward in God's plan for his life.
I have a home that keeps our family warm and cool. It is filled with dancing, singing, laughing, crafting. It is filled with His love and His presence.
I live out in the country where my heart is soothed every time I walk outside. I can sit on my front porch and look over the pasture to see horses grazing. I live close to my parents and my brother and sister in law who I know will help me anytime I need it. I have some of the best neighbors in the world. My girls have been given beautiful friendships that encourage and support them daily.
I have a car and gas for that car. I have food for my family. I have a piano that I can sit at and pour out my heart to God through songs and music. I am able to sit and read God's Word anytime of the day that I want to. It is on my phone, my computer, and in my home. Right now....many people do not have that beautiful gift. I do not worry about someone coming into my home and hurting the girls and I because of our religion, some do right now.
I am a family of a church that has taken our family and loved them when we were pretty unlovable. They have prayed over us, supported us, given us direction, worshiped with us, come to our rescue more than once in an emergency, and they have just been Jesus to us. I never that I would find another church where I truly felt like I was home, but God knew exactly the road that we would walk and the church that we needed to walk with us and He lead us to Vintage. There are no words to describe how much I love the people that make up our church.
God has put some amazing spiritual advisers in my life...people like Chuck Robinson, Larry Nelson, Darrell and Sherry Haley, my mom and dad, Mark Aduddell, MaryJane Bascom,Tracey Fronko, and so many others....I have even more friends than one could ever deserve. Friends that have stood by JT and I through all of this. Friends that have come over to our house in an emergency with Kari, or came up to the hospital as we were dealing with a foster baby, friends that have met me for supper and prayed over me and friends who have called and checked in with the girls and I and left no room for us to think that we were ever alone.
I want to worship Christ through all this. I want to raise my hands, no matter how heavy my heart may be, and I want to worship. I want people to see that there is NO WAY to live this life WITHOUT Christ! I do want to be honest with people and let them know that we don't always feel "happy" or "joyful" but even then...we can still worship. I want people to see every struggle we walk so that they too can know they are not alone because we ALL walk difficult roads...we just do. We live in a fallen world and until we get to go home, life will be difficult here. It is promised in the Word the same as it is promised that He will NEVER leave us or forsake us.
SO dear friends, forgive me for my complaining. I must focus on Hope because I know that is the thing that satan wants to destroy the most from me. I must guard that hope with everything. I must seek out His Word and say it out loud over and over again. So if you see me walking through the store, or driving in my car, and I appear to be talking to myself...just know that I am speaking truth out loud! :) I will dig my heels in and square my shoulders and pick up my weapons and fight. I will not go down easily...maybe that is why the fight is so intense. Maybe satan knows that. But I know that it is not me fighting...it is the Holy Spirit IN me fighting and He is GREATER than satan on every account. I will remind myself that satan is a fallen messenger who is angry and scared because even he doesn't want to go to hell! I will stand firm on truth.
I cannot promise that I will not write another blog that sounds more like complaining than worshipping...I want to be honest as I go through this journey. But please know that God is the One who speaks over me. He is the One who gives me the strength each new day to get up, get out of bed, and go through the day praising. He is the One who wipes my tears away as they pour out of my eyes and it is He who is the One who has already called us victors in this battle. He has already declared us to be redeemed. What an amazing thing that is! When all else fails, fall on your knees....right? So on THIS day, I will take a deep breath...I will stop, just for a moment...and I will cherish everything I hear. Each raindrop. Each gentle blow of the wind. I will cherish each laugh and each tear. I will sing. I will dance. I will drink my tea and read a good book. I will sit and play the piano and sing as loud as I want...and I will just be. I will trust that God is here....He is listening. And that right now, at this very moment as I write these words...there are angels standing guard over the girls and I. They are protecting and battling on our behalf. God is good. He is beautiful. He is faithful and true. He just is.
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