I asked a simple question on facebook lately...this was it... Forgiveness. What does that mean to you?
In the Greek it is written like this: Original Word: ἄφεσις, εως, ἡ and it means this according to Strong's:
Short Definition: deliverance, pardon, complete forgiveness
Definition: a sending away, a letting go, a release, pardon, complete forgiveness.
According to the dictionary it means this:
for·give·ness
ˌfərˈɡivnəs/
noun
noun: forgiveness; plural noun: forgivenesses
- the action or process of forgiving or being forgiven."she is quick to ask forgiveness when she has overstepped the line"
pardon, absolution, exoneration, remission,
But what does it mean to you? I mean really, truly mean to you...not just what you know your suppose to say....that's not what I'm asking...I'm asking what does "forgiveness" mean to you?
I always thought that I have had a pretty good handle on that word...it means we are given another chance. We have been given grace when we deserved punishment...we are forgiven. But lately, God is showing me that I really don't know nearly as much about forgiveness as I think I did! I tend to forgive when it is convenient or pain free. I tend to forgive when the person that has done something against me is truly sorry in my mind...but that is not the forgiveness that God has given us. Notice in the Greek it means " deliverance" and a "letting go"....hmmm.....forgiveness means deliverance? For who?
Jt and I have had some really tough conversations lately and God has used these conversations to show me many things about my heart...one being that I am not as quick to forgive as I had thought. Forgiveness means that I don't bring up the past hurt when things are not going my way. It means it is gone...it has been let go...delivered from it.
It has not been easy to look into my heart lately but God is making sure that I do so here I am writing about it for all to read....I don't know why it is so important that I write about this journey because it is painful and hard at times to show your heart to everyone...but it is important....and so I write.
I have come to see my heart a little more clearly lately and what I see makes me sad. I want to be filled with the Holy Spirit...completely. That means that I need to let forgiveness reside there. I am on a mission to discover true forgiveness. And then to live it out. I know it will not be easy and I will struggle many times but I will keep pushing forward for that goal. I want to be a student of forgiveness.
So I asked a question on facebook ....What does forgiveness mean to you? There was a lot of great responses and it really got me thinking... I don't want to just forgive when it is convenient. I want to forgive because it is who I am. A forgiver. A person who has been forgiven.
See, once you have experienced the goodness of forgiveness, how then can we withhold it from any one? But we do. At least I do. I catch myself asking Christ to forgive me when I sin against Him, but then with holding that forgiveness when someone ask me for it. I mean, I may SAY I forgive, but then when I am feeling hurt or upset, I bring up the wrongs that have been done against me by that person. And that is not true forgiveness. I have caught myself doing this with the girls, JT, all kinds of people in my life and it is one quality that has to go in my life!
We have all heard that forgiveness is for the one offering the forgiveness, but I think it's more than that. I think it is for both. It is vital for me to truly forgive JT but it is equally as important for him to see that I have forgiven him. It is important for me to offer it and it is important for him to accept that forgiveness....I mean if we are looking at Christ as our example we can see that He extended the forgiveness to us and then we have the option of accepting it or not. Both parts, the offering and the accepting are huge.
Deliverance is a powerful word. It means freedom. So if we are walking in forgiveness, both accepting it and offering it...we are walking in freedom. That may mean that we have to let go of the pain that someone put us through.
When we were offered the forgiveness of Christ, it was extended to us with the COMPLETE knowledge of all of our sins. He already knew all the pain that we would cause, all the choices that we would make that would separate us from Him. He knew that there would be times when we would know what we were doing was wrong, but do it anyway...and even with all that knowledge...Christ extended the forgiveness anyway. So that makes me think about how I extend forgiveness. Am I willing to extend it even when I know that someone may hurt me? Do I give forgiveness to JT the way that Christ gave it to me?
I asked Jesus in my heart when I was six. Since then, I have been unfaithful to Him at times. I have lied to Him. I have tried to hide things from Him. I have hurt His heart. I have put things or other people above my relationship with Him...and He forgave me. Completely. How then can I possibly think that a "sin" that someone has done against me is worse than what I have done against Him? Jesus gave up all of Heaven to come down and take on this flesh and die for me KNOWING how unfaithful I would be....but He did it anyway. How can I choose to "withhold" forgiveness when it has been lavished on me over and over? I simply cannot. Not if I am walking in the foot prints that Jesus left for us.
Another thing I am learning is that two words belong together....they are: Forgiveness and Thankfulness.
Have you ever thought about how those two words belong together? I sure hadn't. But God showed me how important it is that those two words stay together. I need to be thankful that I am where I am right now in life...in this moment. I need to be able to praise God for ALL my moments. The good ones. The bad ones. The hard ones. The happy ones. The tear-filled ones. ALL of them. I need to thank God for these moments because without walking through them, I would never have gotten to know God like I have. Without having everything stripped away from me, I would never have truly relied on God for my needs. Without walking through the pain and hurt of JT's addictions and Kari's mental illness, I would never have the compassion for others who walk this road as well.
I can see that now....I can thank God for the road that I am on. I can praise Him because of where He is leading me...I can lift my hands in surrender to WHEREVER HE LEADS....and I will follow. I am learning to trust each step....one tiny step at a time. I'm learning to not worry about tomorrow's steps, but to just walk THIS day in thankfulness and forgiveness. When you walk in true thankfulness, it is hard to hold people's "sins' against them because you are always walking with the knowledge of the grace that God gives you daily. And when you walk in true forgiveness, you are "delivered" from hate, anger, meanness...feelings that are not from God....and that makes you thankful! See how they always go together! I just love how God has entwined these words for me. I want to continue studying forgiveness and thankfulness....I want to learn more about they are linked. And then I want to walk each day in thankfulness for all that God has and is doing in my life....my husband's life, my children's lives, my marriage....God's forgiveness goes beyond what I am capable of understanding. It blows me away and it makes me....well....it makes me thankful. It is becoming this beautiful dance between Creator and created...and I am learning to love the LEARNING of the dance.
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